There’s Literally No Way the Russian Dolls on ‘Masked Singer’ Aren’t the Hanson Brothers

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Some things in life are certain, like the fact that your roommate will eat your leftover pizza if left unattended and the Russian Dolls on Masked Singer season 5 are the Hanson Brothers. Listen, I get it, some of you contrarians are like, “Well, technically, it cooould be the Jonas Brothers…” to which I say no, my friend, technically NOT.

Pretty much from day one, fans have agreed on the celebrity contestants hanging out inside these Matryoshka stacking dolls. The clues add up. The vocal cords support the theory. And as one fan on YouTube wisely mused, “As a 31-year-old who’s been an intense Hanson fan since I was 8 years old, it’s a little hard for me to imagine anyone not instantly recognizing them. 😀 Those voices and flawless harmonies are imprinted on my brain, I tell you!”

However, if you’re still all, Mmmbop, I need more convincing, ba du dop, we’ve laid out all the evidence for you below.

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The Clues

The first clue package for the Russian Dolls is honestly chock-full of Easter eggs. Some highlights include:

  • “I’ve been doing my own thing for quite some time, not like in the beginning, when I was the world’s hottest toy,” aka they’ve taken a hiatus from showbiz?
  • The jug of milk on the shelf.
  • A conveyer belt of cardboard boxes (JEFF BEZOS, IS THIS YOU?).
  • A boat wheel on a bridge.
  • A “Garden State Highway” sign at a train stop.

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    And ICYMI, in episode 1, Jenny McCarthy ventured a guess that they could be a “Philly group,” like maybe Boyz II Men.

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      Now let’s look at the clue video from episode 3:

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      • We see a solar system mobile…? Which made Ken Jeong guess the cast of The Big Bang Theory (lol, Kaley Cuoco is busy, my guy).
      • The smaller doll throws a jab at the bigger doll, reminding him of a time he “cracked hard” (sibling rivalry, perhaps??).
      • The larger doll had to get RUSHED TO THE HOSPITAL!! And there was no guarantee things would ever be the same!
      • We see a red letterman jacket with the letter “M” on it.

        Next up, the clue video from episode 6:

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        • In front of the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, D.C. (??), they call the Masked Singer stage “epic” (um…that’s one way to describe it!) and say that it’s a “far cry” from where they startedan unglamorous tour bus! (Which makes Robin Thicke venture a “Is it the Partridges?…The Bradys?” guess, sigh.)
        • These dolls used to perform ev-er-y-where…parking lots, softball fields, even “pizza restaurants.”
        • There’s a mysterious snow globe containing owls (“snow owls” is another country music clue, according to Nicole Scherzinger).
        • They said their “years of hustle” paid off and they finally got to perform for…drumroll, pls…the PRESIDENT!

          And then there’s the “food delivery clue” (yes, I agree, this show has gone TOO FAR) from episode 7. The Russian Dolls eat…red…jelly…beans for dinner? It’s their favorite food, apparently. Do with this information what you will!

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          Still with me? Good. ‘Cause it’s time to review the clue package from episode 10:

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          • The Russian Dolls take off their masks to reveal…two dudes in “Don’t Talk to Me” sweatshirts
          • There’s a nickel…and a dime…on an easel
          • The poor dolls recall being teased and laughed at when they were kids
          • Oh, and then there’s a fancy tea set adorned with a country-ish belt buckle
          • These dollerinos say they “embraced not being cool” which, huh, okay

            The Performances

            During the first episode, we saw the Russian Doll do a pretty solid performance of “Man in the Mirror,” by Michael Jackson. The smaller Russian Doll even wore a sparkly glove, and Jenny was very into all the vibes:

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            And in the third episode, the Russian Doll treated viewers to a performance of “Wonder” by Shawn Mendes and FINALLY TWO BECAME THREE:

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            In episode 6, the Russian Dolls performed “Want You to Want Me” by Jason Derulo and OMG THE HARMONIES! THEY WERE BEAUTIFUL!

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            In episode 9, the Russian Dolls delivered a searing rendition of “24K Magic,” by Bruno Mars, enjoy:

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            Also, here are the Russian Dolls performing “Shallow” from A Star Is Born and BRB, crying:

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                The Theories

                The Hanson Brothers

                Tim RoneyGetty Images

                I mean…we can all agree this is Hanson, right? Fans of “MMMBop” (ME, I MEAN ME) would recognize these voices anywhere. Here’s just a small selection of comments lurking on YouTube if you need convincing:

                “Taylor’s voice is unmistakable. If you have been a fan of Hanson for the entire duration of their career like I have, you know from the first note that it’s none other than them. They are amazing!”

                “Here comes the 2nd coming of Hanson being popular…well, to those who have not been following them like us Fansons.”

                “It’s Ike first, then Ike + Zac, then Tay, then all. HANSON RULES!”

                “Taylor gave it away. His voice is very unique and unmistakable.”

                One fan also pointed out that the jug of milk on the shelf could be a hint at the Hanson Brothers’ “Got Milk?” ad from the ’90s. Oh, and a Cluedle-Doo clue claimed that the Russian Dolls can multiple more than 15 times—and someone on YouTube pointed out that the Hansons “collectively have 15 kids.”

                Also, let’s discuss that hospital clue! In 2019, Zac Hanson broke three ribs, his collarbone, and cracked his scapula in a motorcycle accident. The group didn’t cancel their tour, but someone stepped in on Zac’s behalf to take over the drums.

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                And that “we performed at the White House” clue from last episode? Well, GET. THIS. Some websites are reporting that the Hanson Brothers performed their iconic “MMMBop” at the White House during Bill Clinton’s presidency! I can’t find any photographic or video evidence of this moment, but goodness, it’s so deliciously ’90s to imagine.

                Okay, and last thing: the red jelly beans. I know this might come as a shock to you, but according to BraveHero7 on YouTube, the Hanson Brothers’ fav-o-rite food is Dr. Pepper jellybeans. The more you know!

                youtube

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                Pentatonix

                a pentatonix christmas special season 2016

                NBCGetty Images

                Nicole Scherzinger already ventured that a few members of the a cappella group could be under the Russian Dolls costume, but IDK! My money’s still on Isaac, Josh, and Taylor Hanson. However, for the sake of thorough journalism, I’m willing to walk you through the evidence:

                • They won a Grammy for Best Country Duo/Group Performance thanks to their collab with Dolly Parton, which would fit with all the country clues.
                • The group performed “That Thing You Do” to celebrate Tom Hanks (naturally) at the White House in 2014.

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                  The Jonas Brothers

                  new york, ny   september 05 l r joe jonas, kevin jonas, and nick jonas of the jonas brothers attend the mercedes benz star lounge during mercedes benz fashion week spring 2014 at lincoln center on september 5, 2013 in new york city  photo by mike coppolagetty images for mercedes benz

                  Mike CoppolaGetty Images

                  Okay, yes. The Jonas Brothers are technically a group of three humans who sing together, but the chances of Joe Jonas and Nick Jonas coming on this show are approximately zero. Kevin, on the other hand, I can see!

                  “Someone Close to Michael Jackson”

                  the 35th annual grammy awards

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                  Okay, as I’ve said about 99 times already, everyone is pretty much in agreement that the Russian Dolls are the Hanson brothers, but one brave soul ventured that maybe it’s actually someone who was close to the late “Man in the Mirror” pop star. Kay!

                  Todrick Hall

                  todrick hall in concert   new york city

                  Cindy OrdGetty Images

                  Only one person on YouTube suggested that Todrick Hall could be lurking underneath the Russian Doll costume, but they quickly talked themselves out of it. (Honestly, story of my life):

                  screenshot of comment from youtube

                  YouTube

                  Enrique Iglesias

                  enrique iglesias

                  Christopher PolkGetty Images

                  I mean, I really don’t understand how Enrique Iglesias could occupy multiple doll costumes at the same time, but perhaps I’m not thinking imaginatively enough!

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                  Here’s to hoping the Russian Dolls make it all the way to the finals because their vocals are gorgeous and also HANSON FOREVER. Now excuse me while I make us all listen to “MMMBop” together.

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                  You love all the deets on The Masked Singer. So do we! Let’s overanalyze them together.

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