Masturbation Tutorials Are a Thing, and I (Obvi) Tested One Out for ~Science~


“I’m going to stroke myself while I imagine holding your arms above your head and just f*cking you so deeply,” said a voice in my ear as I held a vibrator to my clit. It wasn’t my partner. In fact, it wasn’t a real person at all. I was listening to a guided masturbation recording in which a narrator gave me detailed instructions on how to touch myself, and reader…it is one of the absolute hottest things I’ve ever done.

If you’ve never heard of guided masturbation, allow me to fill you in. Its purpose is to tell you how and where to touch yourself, sometimes interspersed with a bit of narrative to help you fantasize. Like an audio porn story, just more instructional. Sssh.com, a platform that specializes in this type of naughty listening material, invited me to check out their guided masturbation sessions, and, I mean… how could I say no?

The guided sessions on Sssh range from just a few minutes to nearly an hour long, and they’re all narrated by the same male reader (credited as John Eros). You have session options like Vibrator Tease, Sucking You Intently, Exhibitionist Desires, Supernatural, Your Nipples, and Your Clitoris, to name just a few.

Among the audios I listened to, a common theme I noticed was edging—a practice where you tease yourself and hold back from orgasm in order to have a super-intense one (or a few) when you’re ready to release. I had heard of edging before, but I assumed it was something only penis-owners did so they could delay ejaculation and last longer during partnered sex. And that’s definitely a thing, but you don’t need to be someone who ejaculates in order to enjoy a little bit of edging—trust me.

Trying Sssh’s guided masturbation audios

Now, for the fun part: I decided to try Sssh’s guided masturbation sessions on a Sunday afternoon, after I finished all my chores and felt nice and relaxed. I had been thinking about it for a few days, but hadn’t really had the privacy and the urge to go for it until then. And hey, masturbating seemed like a good way to keep the Sunday scaries at bay. I settled into bed with my vibrator and scrolled through the various options before settling on In the Club: A Voyeurism-Based Audio Tease.

Voyeurism: It’s all about how it wreaks havoc upon your imagination,” said the sensual male voice. He had a slight British accent and a deep, rumbly tone with a dominant, powerful edge that I immediately found sexy. Pulsing club music began to play to set the scene, but it was soft and faded into the background as the voice continued. “Standing there in the nightclub, the music pumping away, just like your heart pumps more and more as you imagine what could be done to you, with you.”

The voice continued describing the scene in detail for another minute or so before issuing the first command: “Caress your body to that thought, those eyes lingering on you. Watching you. Tantalize yourself, just your upper body for now, just sliding those fingertips along your sides, up your front, up along your cleavage.”

Only a few minutes in, I began to notice how this was already so different from how I usually masturbate. I tend to just get right down to it with my trusty wand vibrator and erotic stories (or my own fantasies)—a pretty efficient strategy. But as I started circling my fingers around my chest, running them up and down my torso, I realized that it felt a lot like foreplay.

I felt myself getting more and more turned on as the audio continued, describing a scene where I was, hypothetically, being exposed and touched in public. Then the voice continued, telling me to squeeze my chest “just a little bit tighter, allowing your fingertips to glance across back and forth, feeling your nipples getting stiffer.”

Nipple play typically doesn’t do it for me, so it never really occurred to me to get them involved while I masturbate. But tracing them gently made me want to caress other parts of my body, like the sides of my neck and my hips.

I glanced at my phone screen and realized that 21 minutes had passed, and I was still only touching my body. I was getting impatient. I really wanted to start on my clit, but I felt committed to seeing the audio through. Finally, I heard the instructions I’d been anticipating: “Slide your hands between your legs, letting your thumbs brush up and down your p*ssy.”

Confession: I cheated a little bit here. I started out just using my hands, but since I normally masturbate using a vibrator, I switched to that after a couple minutes. Masturbating using just my fingers felt nice, but I know myself well enough to know it wasn’t going to be intense enough to get me there.

“Don’t stop, keep it going, good girl. The thought of how erotic it is to cum in front of this many people, that nearly gets you right to the edge. And stop.”

I stopped, even though I really didn’t want to. I glanced at my phone and saw there were still seven minutes left in the audio, which felt like an eternity when I was so turned on.

“And again, get yourself right to the brink now, getting ready to cum for us. Our delightful exhibitionist.”

I was so close, it was almost painful.

“Keep going. Faster. You’re not going to stop. Good girl.” Then, finally, the command I had been waiting for: “Cum for us.”

The aftermath

When I tell you this was the most powerful solo orgasm I’ve ever had, I mean it. It felt like my whole body was tensing and twitching as I finally got the release I’d been waiting for. I felt my pelvic floor muscles contract uncontrollably and finally understood the “waves of orgasm” phrase I’d read in books. I moaned way louder than I usually do, startling even myself, and when it was over, I lay dazed, enjoying that post-orgasm afterglow.

Obviously, I couldn’t get enough. A few days later, I tried another, shorter session that was all about mutual masturbation. In this one, the narrator was more engaged in the scenario. He wasn’t just describing it like he had in the voyeurism one—he was panting and moaning along with me. I started out using my wand vibrator, but after a few minutes, I switched it out for a rabbit vibe that I rarely use. Honestly, I don’t usually enjoy penetration while masturbating, but something about this audio made me want to give it another go, so I put a little lube on the tip, went for it, and uh, holy sh*t.

As I moved the vibe around, I found the *exact* position where both my internal hot spots and my clit were being stimulated at the same time, and I swear, I could have orgasmed right then and there. But I was still committed to seeing this through, so I turned down the intensity on the vibrator to edge myself.

After several very torturous minutes, I finally got permission to cum. Again, I felt everything tighten as I pressed the vibrator back into the perfect spot. I literally shouted “Oh my God” as I came. It was my first solo internal orgasm, and it was so intense, it was almost too much. I fumbled around looking for the off button… my body couldn’t take another second.

The Verdict

Guided masturbation was, clearly, extremely fun, but the biggest takeaway was learning that, for me, being mentally engaged made for way hotter orgasms. That might seem a little “no sh*t, Sherlock,” and it’s definitely something I’d thought about with regards to partnered sex (like, I know sex is less fun for me if I’m stressed or if my mind is wandering towards non-sexy things), but for some reason, I’d never thought about the crucial mental aspect of masturbation. Taking time to immerse myself in a fantasy and really tease myself—rather than heading straight for my clit immediately—made me feel a lot sexier and connected with my body.

I may have been guilty of the “if it’s not broken, don’t fix it” mentality since I had a pretty reliable routine down, but trying something new made for a fuller, longer-lasting orgasm. Plus, this little experiment definitely led to some fun conversations with my partner about what I enjoyed listening to and why.

This isn’t to say I’m going to make *every* masturbation session a long, guided one with lots of edging. Sometimes, I do want to have that release ASAP. But just like with partnered sex, sometimes you’re in the mood for a quickie and sometimes you’re in the mood for an hours-long, intense, romantic, sexually charged encounter. Now, I don’t see why my approach to masturbating can’t be the same.

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