40 Ways to Ensure You Orgasm Every Time You Masturbate

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Things that are normal: crying over commercials, saying “I can’t eat another bite” before eating another bite, and, of course, masturbating. Yet for some reason, despite the fact that pretty much everyone has, does, or will masturbate at some point in their lives, it’s still kind of taboo to talk about—especially for people with vaginas.

“Masturbation is absolutely normal,” says sexuality educator and researcher Ashley Townes, PhD. “It has and can be used for sexual exploration, pleasure, and is one of the safest options to prevent pregnancy and the transmission of sexually transmitted infections.”

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Plus, in addition to being safe and feeling real damn good, masturbation can improve body positivity, promote sleep, and instantly improve mood. We love to see it.

So whether you’re looking to turn up the heat on your next solo session or you’re curious about the mechanics of making yourself orgasm, here are some of the best masturbation tips to help you have the greatest orgasm of your life. You’re welcome!

1. Pamper yourself.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but foreplay isn’t just for partnered sex. Just like you would with your significant other, get yourself “ready” for the occasion. Get dressed up, throw on that red dress you know looks bomb, and take yourself out to dinner or for swanky drinks.

Light some candles and take a bath while playing some Michael Bublé or slip on your sexiest lingerie and just stare at yourself in the mirror. Getting dressed up for the occasion and making yourself feel special will help you feel even better (and more in the mood) when you do decide to touch yourself.

2. Practice mindfulness.

      Masturbation 101: Avoid spectatoring, aka looking in on yourself masturbating from an outside experience instead of enjoying the physical sensation itself. After all, it’s easy to get caught up in your surroundings and distractions, which is why you should practice being present and in the moment, says Myisha Battle, a sex coach and educator for Allbodies.

      If you want to give it a shot, take deep breaths by holding your breath for 10 seconds at a time. Close your eyes and zero in on what you’re feeling instead of what’s going on around you. (I promise, that grocery list can wait.)

      3. Take a class.

          If you’re more of a “learn by doing” kind of person, there are classes out there designed to not only help you have better sex and orgasms, but learn more about your body as—which in turn leads to, you know, better sex and orgasms.

          You have lots of options to choose from: For one, you could sign up for an Allbodies class, which outlines everything from pleasure anatomy to arousal to sexual response, and also include activities and peer-to-peer guidance/support.

          You could also try your hand at a guided masturbation by audio-porn app Dipsea. There, you’ll find instructions and suggestions on how you can and should touch yourself. (One Cosmopolitan writer actually experienced her first-ever masturbating orgasm from using their instructional guides.)

          Lastly, you could just search Google for nearby sex therapy workshop classes. I’ve personally taken a couple virtual courses from experts Tyomi Morgan and Kenneth Play. These can help you breakthrough whatever is hindering your orgasms—trust me.

          4. Play around with different temperatures.

              This is called temperature play, and yup, it’s a legit kink. Playing around with different temperatures can actually help arouse and relax you, says Dr. Townes. If you prefer colder sensations, try rubbing ice on your nipples or lips. If you prefer something warmer and spicier, invest in a heated sex toy. Just be sure to do a check on another sensitive part of your body like the wrist before moving to the genitals to ensure you’re comfortable with the change.

              5. Pay attention to your whoooooole body.

                  Masturbation is all about self-pleasure (duh), which means your self-pleasure everywhere. You might think you need to focus solely on your genitals, breasts, or butt, but your erogenous zones aren’t actually limited to those areas, and if you’re not exploring all over, you’re going to miss some seriously good sensations.

                  “Basically, the entire body—including shoulders, neck, legs, and feet/toes—is fair game for sexual arousal,” says Battle. So make sure you’re giving your entire body some attention.

                  6. Ask for help.

                      While masturbation can be used as a strategy or tool to cope with sexual difficulty or trauma, it’s important to know when to ask for help and seek guidance from a pro. If you can’t seem to reach orgasm, Dr. Townes suggests diving deeper into what might be going on.

                      “Individuals may need to take some time to explore themselves and their identities if certain mental roadblocks are standing in the way of orgasming,” she explains. Don’t be afraid to speak to your doctor or a mental health pro if not reaching orgasms is keeping you up at night (and not like, in a fun way).

                      7. Reframe the whole orgasm thing.

                          Not to get all new age on you, but sometimes the more you want an orgasm, the harder it is to get one. This is why Battle suggests you stop putting pressure on having an orgasm all together.

                          “Some people orgasm during masturbation and others don’t—or they may experience orgasm more sporadically,” explains Battle. “Physically, you will get the same benefits from masturbation, like stress reduction and production of feel-good hormones like dopamine, just from self-pleasure, without orgasm.”

                          She suggests viewing an orgasm as the cherry on top and not the whole sundae. By eliminating some of the pressure and just enjoying the experience, you actually have a better chance of actually getting off.

                          8. Again, know that it’s completely normal to masturbate and adopt the mindset that masturbating is not only *not shameful* (legit everyone does it), but a great way to get in touch with your pleasure.

                          For a society that talks about sex all the effing time, we don’t really talk about women masturbating all that much? Think about it. You likely talk to your friends about your sex life with partners more than self-love. Because of this, it’s totally reasonable if you feel a little self conscious about masturbating.

                          Maybe you’re of the mindset like, “Hey we all do it, but we don’t all have to admit it or talk about it,” (aka me before I started this job) and while that’s fine, relegating solo sex to a shameful secret in a corner of your mind doesn’t do your sex life any favors.

                          So just to reiterate, again, if you think of masturbating as self-care (which many people rightfully do), you’ll learn to prioritize your pleasure and your body in a way that’s not only going to help you in the short term re: an orgasm RTFN, but also long term when it comes to partnered sex or relationships.

                          9. Look to other real people’s masturbation techniques for inspo.

                          Maybe you’re in a rut and just bored to death of your go-to way to orgasm, or you simply want to change it up. We interviewed 14 anonymous women on exactly how they orgasm alone and all their techniques are pretty unique. Try some of them out for yourself and see if you stumble upon a game-changing tip.

                          10. Try dry humping.

                          If you’re an adult woman, dry humping likely hasn’t been on your mind for a while as it usually gets its most play in your sex life when you’re younger or as an entree to penetrative sex. But dry humping can actually be ubes-pleasurable for women at any age. If you’ve got a sensitive clitoris, dry humping can be a great way to stimulate your clitoral hood (kinda like the foreskin of your clit) giving you all the sensation without the ow-ow-ow-intensity of direct clitoral stimulation.

                          11. Seriously, get a damn vibrator.

                          Using a vibrator doesn’t make you ~lazy~ because you’re going the toy route instead of using your fingers. The fact of the matter is, nowadays vibes and sex toys have so many different functions that focus on unique ways of making you orgasm that it’s well worth it to explore all of them and gain a better understanding of what makes you tick.

                          It can also help your sex life outside of masturbation! I’ve got a friend who hated oral sex and felt absolutely nothing when guys went down on her. Then she tried the Lelo Sona (this viral review helped sway her), which simulates the feeling of someone sucking on your clitoris, and now her most consistent way of orgasming during sex is through (well-directed) oral. All through the power of masturbation!

                          12. Equally as important as getting a vibrator: Pick a sex toy based on what already works for you when you masturbate.

                          There’s so much to be said on vibrators (here’s an abridged version of the 65+ best vibes we stand by and more detail on all the “types” of vibrators and how to use them), but for the sake of service, we’ll keep this short! When it comes to masturbation, there are generally a few types that each have their ~preferred function~ of pleasure, which we’ll explain. If you’ve never had a sex toy before, think about how you most reliably orgasm and pick a toy that does exactly that, but on a rechargeable battery that lasts 80 minutes without any hand or neck cramps.

                          • Clitoral vibration: This can include everything from bullet vibrators to the mammoth wand-type vibrators. The larger the “head” of the toy, the more precision you have over controlling vibration. Bullet vibes are more precise, whereas wands give broader sensation. Wands give you the most power (some of them literally have to be plugged into the wall, but many are rechargeable), but they lack the convenience of bullets, which are smaller, can be waterproof, quieter, and more discreet all around.
                            • Clitoral suction: This is a newish category of sex toy that includes toys like the Lelo Sona, Womanizer, Satisfyer, and more. Basically any toy that looks like it has a little crater for your clitoris to fit into. These toys all use different names for their tech (including lingo like “air” and “sonic”), but the mechanics of it are generally the same. Your clitoris goes into the little dent, the toy creates a vacuum, and vibration or pulsing mimics the feeling of getting your clitoris sucked on. It’s like a machine that feels like the best head of your life. Needless to say, they’re pretty popular.
                              • Internal toys: While the G-Spot has been debunked, internal simulation for those with vaginas can feel pretty good for some people. While the majority of those with vulvas probably orgasm or masturbate through clitoral stimulation, adding an internal element can add to that. Anything with a shaft that’s meant to be inserted inside you counts here, like dildos, or vibrators with a pronounced curve (the curve gives you leverage to hit areas where a partner’s penis might not.).
                                • Combo internal/clitoral toys: The most classic example of an internal toy is the Rabbit, which has a shaft for penetration and dedicated Rabbit “ears” to stimulate your clit at the same time. If you want more reccs on all things Rabbit, (or just a rundown on the v. fascinating history of the Rabbit here) we gotchu.
                                  • Butt toys: This includes anything from butt plugs, anal beads, or anal dildos. You can always tell a butt toy from a vaginal toy because the butt toys have a pronounced flared base, which is crucial so it doesn’t get sucked into your anus and send you to the ER with a story you have to whisper to the admitting nurse. Combining butt toys with clitoral stimulation can be extremely pleasurable for some. Whether it’s wearing a butt plug for a feeling of “fullness” or removing one anal bead at a time as you have a clitoral orgasm, butt toys add a new level to masturbation.

                                    13. Stick with it and try to masturbate every day for a week or a month.

                                    Maybs you know exactly what to do to get yourself an O in sixty seconds or less. Try to carve out time to masturbate every day and see what happens. At least one woman here can vouch for the game-changing effect this can have on your sex life.

                                    14. Experiment with edging to see if tweaking with the urgency of an orgasm can give you an even bigger O.

                                    Masturbation is generally all about the orgasm, so what happens when you play with that idea and tweak it? You just might experience an even bigger orgasm. By incorporating edging, aka the act of delaying orgasming a bunch of times until you have one huge one, you might find that you have the most dramatic climax of your life.

                                    Here’s how: “Don’t just race for the orgasm. Tease yourself,” recommends Self Love Coach Caitin Grace. “Caress every inch of yourself long before you dip between your thighs. Once you finally move to your clitoris, slow everything down. Use soft gentle strokes amongst some hard and fast. Bring yourself to the edge of orgasm and then slow everything down.”

                                    Go through this cycle a few times and before long, you’ll find yourself riding those pleasure waves—literally.

                                    15. Decide if you’re going to go slow or fast and set the ambiance accordingly.

                                    Just like the above techniques, the speed you approach masturbation as an event can also impact your orgasm. Brush up on tantric sex tips if you want to have an indulgent, all-night self-f*ckathon, or have a pretend quickie by keeping some of your clothes on.

                                    16. Switch it up.

                                    If you are someone who only uses vibes, try using your fingers for a while. If you reach for your trusty bullet vibe, experiment with adding internal toys to the mix. Sometimes the best way to improve your masturbating session is to introduce new playthings into it. All of these options create a different feeling on your clitoris (or wherever you want to use it), which can easily break-up your standard masturbating technique and introduce a new way or orgasming.

                                    17. Set the mood.

                                    Sorry for the cliche, but seriously: It helps. Whether you have a Tinder match who you can sext with to get your sexy thoughts started, or you want to subscribe to one of these A+ audio porn sites, doing a lil warm up is going to make the grand finale that much hotter.

                                    18. Try an a.m. session.

                                    If you regularly masturbate at night or right before you go to bed, try doing it as soon as you wake up. There are tons of benefits to masturbating in the morning. One Cosmo writer wrote that it’s “The key to dealing with dick bosses everywhere” and just sets your day on the right tone.

                                    19. Set a goal.

                                    Like marathon training, it helps to identify tangible goals you want to hit during your session. Not to go all coach on you, but figure out what that is and commit yourself to getting it. An example: Maybe you’re having a hard time reaching orgasm with your new partner and don’t have an answer when they ask, “What do you like?” In your solo sessions, find out what that is by trying new things. Then, next time they ask, you might have a confident answer (and a more satisfying partnered session).

                                    20. Bring in some props that aren’t necessarily sex toys.

                                    Yes, sex toys and vibes are great, but you could also mix things up by using what you already have around the house. Lucky enough to have a shower with a removable head? Use the water pressure to stimulate your clit (or just slide down in your tub and let the spray from overhead do the same thing).

                                    21. Have someone coach you through it.

                                    You can take this literally and hire an orgasm coach (seriously, these exist!) or if your masty routine is in need of a refresh, you can ask a partner to tell you exactly what to do. It’s a sexy way to bond and a sexy way to see what both you and your partner like. Do it over FaceTime to see all the crazy good visuals, too.

                                    22. Watch yourself.

                                    You know how you get hyped up when you put on lingerie? The same feeling applies to setting up a mirror to watch yourself get it on with yourself. Why not do both? If this writer can masturbate to her own masturbation video, you sure as hell can too.

                                    23. Know the movements.

                                    Try out one of the four motions that women reportedly love on their clitoris: up and down, circular, side to side, and rapid pushing (pulsating), according to the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy. Move your fingers in one of these four directions and test out what feels best to you—or combine two movements simultaneously for some ultra-fun multitasking.

                                    24. Turn on the bops

                                    Just like how music helps your workout, it also has an amazing effect on setting the mood for your ~sexy~ time too. Create a Spotify playlist with all the songs that get your juices flowing (lol, ew, sorry) or check out Cosmo‘s solo-time playlist for when you’re ready to get down at your party for one.

                                    25. Own your curves.

                                    A recent study from the University of Texas at Austin found a link between positive body image and sexual satisfaction. In other words, focus on loving and touching those perfect curves and crevices on your body, not dwelling on the areas that you wish were more toned. Know this: Your bod lets you experience these amazing Os and feelings, so worship it, girl.

                                    26. Switch positions.

                                    While you’re probably used to lying on your back and using your fingers or toys to stimulate your clitoris, try moving around and masturbating in different positions. Sit up on your knees and press your clitoris up against a vibrator or try moving your body into doggie and simulating the position.

                                    27. Keep moving.

                                    It’s tempting to let your vibrator do all the work, but stay in the moment by rocking your hips to the rhythm or going in circles and back-and-forth motions. The continuous movement will keep the vibrations from overwhelming you. Plus, you might even find a new favorite position as you move around.

                                    28. Experiment with different types of stimulation.

                                    Masturbation doesn’t have to mean exclusively clitoral stimulation or internal stimulation. You can try both! At! The! Same! Damn! Time! There are tons of toys out there with curves to reach your sensitive spots inside your vagina, while also stimulating your clit.

                                    29. Test out anal play.

                                    If you’re curious about butt stuff, there’s really no better way to experiment than alone. You can do everything from circling your anus with a lubed finger and then slowly working your way in, or experimenting with butt plugs. Start with a small plug about the size of your finger. Vibrating plugs can add more sensation than you could give yourself manually, or you can check a weighted plug that helps you achieve a feeling of ‘fullness.’

                                    30. Try a little pillow humping.

                                    Grind your vulva against something, recommends Trisha Borowicz, orgasm equality blogger and director of Science Sex and the Ladies. She notes that it’s the way many women first experiment with their bodies.

                                    “Keep the panties on—less wet mess and more clit friction—and find something soft (a pillow, a stuffed animal, a stack of neatly folded laundry…). Lie facedown with your vulva on top of it, slowly grinding your hips down against it. Adjust the pressure, your position and shape of the object until it feels really good. Once you get to that point, keep your rhythm consistent, take some deep breaths, and ride that stack of laundry straight to orgasm.”

                                    31. Let yourself get hands-y.

                                    “Caress yourself with one hand whilst the other one is getting busy on the clitoris,” says Florence Barkway, half of Florence and Reed, the online sex educators and occasional porn directors behind the sex and body positivity YouTube channel Come Curious. “Touching certain parts of the body can make your orgasms even more intense.”

                                    “For some women, it might be the breasts and nipples, for others, the stomach! It may look silly but if you rub your tummy like you’re hungry, with just a little bit of pressure on the lower stomach, it can lead to a tremendous orgasm.” Get creative with where you do it and what you do it with. “You can masturbate standing up in the kitchen, lying in the bath, be experimental,” says Reed Amber, the other half of Come Curious.

                                    32. Don’t masturbate like it’s something you have to accomplish.

                                    Sex and relationship educator Kate McCombs makes a very important point: Make sure you have enough time to not feel rushed and have enough privacy not to be interrupted. If you only have five minutes or you’ve set aside a day like you need to get this figured out, odds are you’re going to be way too stressed to allow the kind of no-pressure chill vibe you should ideally have when you’re masturbating, at least in the beginning. So shut your phone, put on some music that turns you on, and take your time.

                                    33. Use some lube.

                                    McCombs recommends putting a quarter-size amount of lube onto your index and middle fingers and gently massaging it around your clitoris and inner labia (the folds inside the larger folds that make up most of your vagina). Sure, you might have enough natural vaginal lubrication to start with, but if you don’t, extra lube (no matter where it comes from) will make it a lot more comfortable.

                                    34. You don’t have to focus on the vagina and nothing but the vagina.

                                    Carol Queen, PhD, coauthor of The Sex & Pleasure Book: Good Vibrations Guide to Great Sex for Everyone recommends also bringing in nipple stimulation into masturbation or grabbing your butt or upper thighs, just to see if any of that feels good to you. Part of that is to get a sense of where you’re the most sensitive and what kind of touch feels best for you. Plus, by finding those spots on other parts of your body that feel really good, you’re increasing your arousal, which will make touch feel different (and probably better), which is always great.

                                    35. Avoid jack-hammering your clitoris.

                                    McCombs recommends some more low-key playful touching, like running your fingers along your inner labia and along the sides of your clitoris, all the way down toward the entrance of your vagina. It’s just a good starting point to get some blood flowing down there, which helps increase pleasure and arousal. Plus, you’re getting a feel for what you like and you can always keep repeating whatever is working for you from there.

                                    36. Work your way up to using a vibrator.

                                    Queen says that while you might have a better success rate with a toy, using your hands in the beginning can be a great way to learn about your body. Plus, it’s also more comparable to the sensations caused by a partner’s hands, so if you have any interest in partner sex, it’ll help you transition from one to the other more smoothly and gives you information for your partner about how you like to be touched.

                                    37. Get some visual aids.

                                    Rachel Venning, Babeland’s co-founder and the co-author of Moregasm: Babeland’s Guide to Mind-Blowing Sex, says, “The biggest sex organ is between the ears, so engage your brain as well. Remember sexy times from your past, check out arousing online images, or read erotica. Whatever you need to do to fuel that fire.”

                                    38. If you feel like you need someone to literally tell you what to do, here are some instructions.

                                    Venning recommends this as a sample starter move: “Slide a finger between your lips to open things up, and then get a little lube on your finger tips if more slickness would feel good. Slide your fingers back and forth from your vaginal opening to your clit. Don’t go inside yet, just tease yourself a bit. Try a stroke that is one finger at a time and then slide a couple fingers into your vagina, curling them slightly. Slide them in and out.”

                                    Jess Wilde, Lovehoney’s bondage and fetish expert, also recommends going in circular motions around the clitoris. Make the circles as tight or as wide as you like to vary intensity. This is a particularly good move if you find direct contact with your clitoris is too much for you and also makes it easier to maintain rhythm when you need it most.

                                    39. Work some penetration into the mix if that feels right for you.

                                    Some women don’t use penetration at all when they’re masturbating, but if you want to try that, try slowly—or quickly, if you prefer—moving your fingers in and out of you while you continue to play with your clitoris. You can also just move your fingers in and out without touching the clitoris: It’s really up to you. Basically you’re just feeling around for what you like and if that’s penetration with clitoral stimulation, do more of that.

                                    40. Know you don’t have to just lie on your back.

                                    Wilde recommends lifting your legs as high as possible (we’re talking knees on your shoulders here) to help you reach the internal parts of your clitoris, or turning on your stomach and seeing if that feels good to you. It’s harder to reach in that position, but some really love it, so why not try?

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