13 Signs You Miiiight Be a Hopeless Romantic

0
13 Signs You Miiiight Be a Hopeless Romantic


From adoring cheesy love songs to dotting their “I”s with hearts, we don’t need to tell you that no one loves harder than hopeless romantics. You know, those people who do anything for romance and believe in ~true love~ above all else. But before you think it’s all rom-coms and rainbows for these folks, the truth is that’s not exactly the case (even though, yes, they probs love a good romantic comedy). If you’re wondering what a hopeless romantic actually is or are trying to figure out if you could be one, you’ve come to the right place!

Get Access to *All* of Cosmo

According to Hinge’s love and connection expert, Moe Ari Brown, LMFT, a hopeless romantic is someone who continuously believes in love and keeps searching for it despite past experiences or struggles. “[The word] ‘hopeless’ is quite a misnomer when it comes to hopeless romantics,” Brown explains, since these optimistic folks usually dive head-first and full of hope into romantic situations. “They choose to see the positive in relationships over the negative, believing wholeheartedly that love conquers all.”

While Brown says hopeless romantics are naturally “idealistic, optimistic, love-oriented, and connection-centered,” there are also some downsides, like not carving out enough space for themselves in a relationship. “A hopeless romantic is someone whose heart is open but may have learned early to set aside their own needs to be loved,” Brown explains. Beyond that, it can sometimes be hard to set boundaries and weed out not-so-great matches when you’re a walking heart-eye emoji.

It’s important to note that there’s literally nothing wrong with being a hopeless romantic. But it *is* a good idea to learn how to protect yourself and discover what goes into having healthy, reciprocal relationships. So whether you’re just trying to learn more or need some advice to safeguard your achy breaky heart, here are a few signs you might be a hopeless romantic, plus some expert advice for dealing with everything that comes with loving so (beautifully) hard.

1. You’re obsessed with romance.

From romantic movies to romance novels, hopeless romantics typically have a strong interest in all things lovey-dovey. Honestly, if there’s not a friends-to-lovers or opposites-attract storyline, it’s probs not for you. Oh, and if you find yourself saving wedding ideas to Pinterest boards or thinking up cute pet names for partners even when you’re single, there’s a good chance you’ve entered hopeless romantic territory…

2. Love at first sight is a real thing for you.

Whether it’s love or lust at first sight, hopeless romantics tend to believe in (and often feel) that initial spark that pulls people together. While this can happen to anyone and lead to a real connection, that lightning bolt of “omg this might be a thing” tends to hit a lot more frequently for hopeless romantics. The downside is that this can result in quickly jumping into relationships without actually knowing someone, since hopeless romantics are hardwired to want a connection.

3. And you’ve had the “this is the one” feeling more than once.

Once in a relationship, hopeless romantics tend to get the feeling that this could be *their person* more often than not. Not only do they fall in love easily, but they fall hard, even if the pairing isn’t actually the best fit IRL. But, as Brown explains, not everyone feels the same. “You are not for everybody. Each new person you meet couldn’t possibly be a match for all the beautiful complexities that exist within you.”

Unfortch, not everyone is going to be your person. That’s why it’s a good idea to think about the qualities you desire and deserve in a relationship before jumping in. “If all of life is governed by a reciprocal flow of giving and receiving, how can your relationships better mirror this flow? How would a partner need to give and receive for you all to flow? Write it down!” Brown suggests.

4. Relationships feel one-sided.

One of the biggest signs that you’re a hopeless romantic is that most of your relationships feel unbalanced. You constantly do it up for anniversaries, birthdays, holidays, and special occasions, and never really feel like that same level of effort is given back to you. Rude! This is why Brown suggests working on giving to yourself as much as you give to others. “We teach other people how to love us by how we love ourselves. You must love yourself better than anyone has ever loved you. Then anyone who loves you after that has to rise to that standard.”

5. You’re an optimist.

Hopeless romantics are usually glass-half-full-to-the-point-of-overflowing kinds of people. This, Brown says, can be a major plus, since you’re likely open to new experiences and relationships others might not be. “I encourage [hopeless romantics] to stay hopeful and know their optimism is a gift,” Brown says. “They aren’t afraid to dive in head first at any opportunity to have the kind of relationship they want.”

In order to balance your optimism with reality, however, you still need to concentrate on your own needs so you don’t lose sight of yourself in the process of chasing love.

6. You tend to ignore red flags.

While optimism is a great strength for hopeless romantics (pls see above), it can also be their downfall if it means focusing on someone’s potential and not paying attention to their actual qualities. “Hopeless romantics might throw caution to the wind, ignoring red flags for the possibility that love will be the reward for their devotion,” Brown says. “When you see signs that aren’t pleasing, you must not ignore them. Learn to embrace red flags as protection, allowing you to see what might cause you harm ahead of time.”

7. You’ve been labeled “emotional” before.

Not the nicest thing to call someone, but the truth is, hopeless romantics tend to wear their hearts on their sleeves. They express love easier, they feel breakups harder, and they’re more easily disappointed when reality doesn’t match up to their romance-filled fantasies. Staying grounded is key here, as is fulfilling your own needs, so you can manage expectations and view situations with a clear head and a clear heart.

8. You’re a big fan of weddings.

Wedding shows, wedding movies, going to weddings, planning weddings, being in weddings—hopeless romantics usually love “I dos.” It makes sense since weddings go hand-in-hand with the whole ~together forever~ concept. It’s important for hopeless romantics to remember that marriage is about so much more than just a wedding. You need a partner for life, not just someone who will look good—or is willing to be—by your side at the altar.

9. You view the world with rose-colored glasses.

Not only are hopeless romantics eternal optimists, but they also tend to put partners, potential partners, and romantic situations on a pedestal. Doing this, they walk around seeing love and ~signs~ everywhere. “To exist in a world [of] painful relationships, [hopeless romantics] could adopt the approach of deciding to see the world from a romantic perspective,” Brown says. “It’s more pleasant than only seeing chaos, destruction, trauma, or fear.” Might not be the most practical, but the view sure is pretty this way!

10. You’re not the best at reading the health of a relationship.

Oftentimes breakups come out of the blue for hopeless romantics. This is because, as Brown explains, “There could have been a rejection or hurt in their life that was so painful that their way of responding to that pain was to ignore it.” This often leads hopeless romantics to disregard future signs of pain or rejection instead of looking at the true strength of the bond. Again, this is where reality comes in, folks. If you need help, enlisting an honest friend or seeking support from a mental health professional to help gauge where your connection is heading could be valuable.

11. You give, give, give.

Not-so-surprisingly, hopeless romantics usually have idealistic views about love. Blame it on all the rom-coms. They want it so bad, they’ll typically bend over backwards to try to get it. “This view often inspires them to give everything to a relationship, including their hopes, time, energy, and material resources,” Brown says. “Giving in this way is not inherently bad. It becomes troublesome when they offer it to unrequited lovers or those who aren’t reciprocal.” If you find yourself sacrificing your own needs for love, it’s a good idea to take a step back and work on loving yourself first and foremost.

12. You’re not the biggest fan of boundaries.

Constantly texting and FaceTiming, everyday sleepovers, and 24/7 contact—hopeless romantics crave it all. “It can feel like you want to merge with another person when everything is so enchanting,” Brown explains. “It’s important to pace yourself and preserve boundaries around your self-care time, routines, and resources.” Set limits for yourself in regards to dating—and stick to them—to keep those boundaries and personal resources intact.

13. You’ll drop anything for love.

Whether it’s driving through the night to surprise someone or canceling plans with friends if the object of your affection asks you to hang out, you’re not afraid to put everything on hold for the person you love (or would love to love). While it might seem romantic, Brown says the issue is that this sort of devotion can get extremely exhausting. That’s why learning how to say no and spotting the signs of unreciprocated love will save you a lot of time, energy, and mileage on your car. Remember: It’s about give and take. You deserve to get some in return.

“Learning to replenish as you pursue love will help keep your heart open and help you remain grounded in who you are,” Brown says. “Ask yourself this in the morning every day: ‘If no one else has a need, what is it that I want to do today? If no one else has an opinion, who do I want to be today? Who do I wish to become?’” Remember: Live your life for you. The right person will value what you have to offer and return that love right back to you.

This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io



Source link